Lake Michigan And The Lighthouse: A Love Story

Lake Michigan and the Lighthouse on the Grand Haven pier I feel is a love story of the highest order. I have learned a lesson from these two and would like to dispense this lesson into your life.

The lesson comes from the idea that we are always trying to change each other it would seem when we are in a relationship. The woman wants the man to act more like a woman, a man wants a woman to do things and act in a manner like a man. But, what you get is two of the same. And in the world of magnets, you don’t get attraction when you have the same things. It is the polarities that attract each other. A positive and a negative pole will attract each other. But moving on.

I think it is essential we understand the differences between Lake Michigan and the Lighthouse.

Here is what you need to know, Lake Michigan is a little wild, unpredictable and sometimes dangerous. The waters can change rather quickly and without warning. Storms and rain and lightening can come out of nowhere. Now apart from the bad, Lake Michigan also supplies plenty of enjoyment. On the hot days it invites people into its cool waters, and provides fun. It gives beauty like no other can. All the while, the lake is free, and just flows with life. It’s waves are calming and being in it’s presence soothes the soul. And at the coming of night, Lake Michigan can provide unrivaled beauty.

Now consider how the Lighthouse is different: It is stable, and steady. It is strong through the storm, and doesn’t respond to the rain and the thunder any more than necessary. It provides guidance and is a signal to the seas that it is a safe haven and can be trusted in the darkest hours and in the storms. The environment does not break it’s strength. The lighthouse is structured and has a task at hand to do, and does it.

I think Lake Michigan is a great picture of a woman, and the Lighthouse is a great picture of man. As well, a great picture of a man and a woman who accept each other for who they are, and roll with it. This idea has helped me with understanding women. What they like, what they don’t like and why I don’t get along with certain types of women. This is a lesson I wish I would of learned 10 years ago, it would of made life easier, if not just make it make more sense.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying women are these out of control– completely emotional beings. I’m just saying their nature is vastly different then a man’s. They are more free, they want to love and not be weighed down by tasks and structure like the lighthouse, needing to be always relied upon to do task and to make and accomplish plans. Now they can be goal oriented, but again, I don’t think it is their nature. Now, in a book I read, (and this is not the first time I have heard an idea similar to this). There is an idea that women want to love, they use the word love more then men, they just seem like they are free to love, love, love and love.

Moving on, men, they are often more task oriented and structured, they like goals and to accomplish the work that are at hand. They tend to be emotionally strong, or should be emotionally strong. Not like these super emotional guys that are permeating the media. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying a guy can’t have moments of emotion. But, just think of a man like this: Let’s say a man is like a boat, how would he do with Lake Michigan? He would be tossed and turned by the waves, completely susceptible to the moods of the water, and controlled by them. Is that the kind of man a woman wants? One that is more emotional then her? Or is swayed by her moods? She want a man to provide strength, and guidance so she can be free to flow and love.

With that said, next term: Polarity. Polarity is what attracts a man and a woman. The bigger the difference the stronger the connection. Again, think of a magnet. North and south poles attract. A woman who flows and is less structured and loves freely, will attract a man who is very structured and driven. Cause they will balance. Think of acid and base, the bigger the difference the bigger the reaction.

Wrapping this up. what I have learned is this: I don’t try to change a woman’s emotional side, nor am I trying to be more emotional to make her like me. I accept them for who they are. They are different, with different thought processes, mindsets, behaviors and ways they handle things. I just stay calm, cool and collected, not letting the female storm crumble the lighthouse. This simple idea has made so much sense: Women are more emotional, and flow in life and the moment, men need to be strong through it, and provide safety.

For me, I have noticed there is a certain kind women I get along with a lot better then others, those who tend to be more feminine in nature. Here is why, I’m a masculine kind of guy. Unfortunately, I used the think women liked emotional guys. They don’t. So, I changed. Life got better.

Thoughts:

I do think there are jobs that can turn women more masculine, and ones that aid in them keeping a feminine essence. Jobs that are more caring and nurturing like a nurse, or a stay at home mom, I think lend aid to that. But jobs that are more authoritative, or  managerial I think can cause a woman to be a bit more masculine.

Suggested Reading:

Give Up Space For Time

I was reading in the The 33 Strategies of War  and there was an interesting strategy I came upon. This strategy I think is one we use often and do not even know it. It also has great application to normal life. If it is not being used in your life, I think it might be time to step back and start using it.

Let us begin, the Strategy I’m talking about and that is outlined by Robert Greene is:

“TRADE SPACE FOR TIME

THE NONENGAGEMENT STRATEGY

Retreat in the face of a strong enemy is a sign not of weakness but of strength. By resisting the temptation to respond to an aggressor, you buy yourself valuable time–time to recover, to think, to gain perspective. Let your enemies advance; time is more important than space. By refusing to fight, you infuriate them and feed their arrogance. They will soon overextend themselves and start making mistakes. Time will reveal them as rash and you as wise. Sometimes you can accomplish most by doing nothing” (p.137, Greene).

Another way to say Trade Space For Time could just be called “retreat.” Retreating is simply getting away from the action to give you time to think. So you are giving up ground (space) (could be used metaphorically) for time to your self. And I think this applicable in more ways then just military battle. But before we talk about that let’s hit on a few points so you can have a well rounded view of this strategy:

The first point to cover: “If you are always advancing, always attacking, always responding to people emotionally, you have no time to gain perspective. Your strategies will be weak and mechanical… Retreating is something you must do every now and then, to find yourself and detach yourself from infecting influences. And the best time to do this is in moments of difficulty and danger” (p.140, Greene).

The second point: “When you fight someone more powerful than you are, you lose more than your possessions and position; you lose your ability to think straight, to keep yourself separate and distinct. You become infected with the emotions and violence of the aggressor in ways you cannot imagine… The decision to retreat shows not weakness but strength. It is the height of strategic wisdom” (p.141, Greene).

Now the last point: “War is a constant illustration of Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will. But when you retreat, when you exchange space for time, you are making Murphy’s Law work for you” (p.142, Greene).

Now these I thought were the best three points from this chapter. And gives the best frame work for us to learn from. The biggest take away for someone is the emotion control aspect of it. Because it is usually our emotional responses that get us in trouble. And I think this is where this principle can be very applicable to everyday life. To illustrate, I will now go through some scenarios we may run into.

Scenario one: Husband and wife start to argue, and she is coming at the husband hard, hitting him with everything, remember every failure and letting him know about it. She is fighting dirty. Now, the husband starts to get angry and defensive, and he’s got a temper. the fight is escalating and both are saying things they will wish they hadn’t. He now has two options, stay in the fight and keep elevating the temperature and letting the heart rate get past 150, where now he can’t think, he then will be acting emotionally. Or, he can remove himself from the situation. Get away from the fight. Give up his metaphorical ground to have some time to himself to gain perspective, and calm himself. As well as come to the conclusion that this fight is not worth it, so he can win the friendly battle we call marriage.

Scenario two: Let’s say you have your girlfriend over for dinner. You have a nice time, she really enjoys the parmesan chicken you made, with the side of green beans, and the salad. Now let’s say you finished desert, and are watching a movie. Maybe you start doing some smooching, and all the sudden she has got a real taste of testosterone from kissing you (because testosterone is transferred through saliva: science). Now things are really heating up, and her cardigan comes off. Right now, your mind is not thinking… at all. But hopefully this is idea is in your brain slot, RETREAT!!! This is when retreating, giving up the ground you worked so hard for (with making dinner) and getting away from the action could save your life in a metaphorical and very real sense! Cause unplanned pregnancy will really change things for you. While away you will catch your breath and your senses will return to you, and you will have dodged a bullet.

So, in these two situations, you can see getting away from the action will give you the time to think, so you are not being controlled by your emotions and feelings, cause how often do we do things because our emotions got the best of us? And these are just two situations to show it. This principle can also apply to that business deal you are working on, or the relationship with a family member you have that you are always fighting with.

Moving on, here are two other ways I think we can use the retreating principle. “Retreat” can be something we do everyday, and or something we can do with a couple people or as a group. The first one being quiet time with God in the morning and or night. This will allow you to gain perspective on the events that have transpired or events that are coming up in your day. It is also a discipline we should be doing everyday as Christians. Often time this is when God can reveal things to us we are doing real awful on, or we can strengthen ourselves in God.

The second way this can be used is something the church calls going on a retreat. A mens retreat is a common thing in the church. And it is basically getting away from the everyday action we face and allows us to gain perspective and or different perspectives. Retreats even allows us to know we are not the only ones who are experiencing turbulence in life.

Other ways of retreating could just be going for a walk, or a drive. Maybe going to a local coffee place to just collect yourself. I remember one time some of my business deals were really getting me stressed out, and I had to leave the office to get some strength from the Lord. When I left the office there was a passage of Scripture that I had in my heart from the past, and a verse that I love. The verse I focused on was this one in 1 Samuel 30:

“6 And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David strengthened himself in Jehovah his God.” (Biblegateway.com)

Particularly where it says “but David strengthened himself in Jehovah his God.” See, I was able to retreat from the action and get encouragement from God in this situation. Know this: we are not al totally equipped to handle all of life’s circumstances. So sometimes retreating and get the strength from God is a must.

To end, retreat is not something to be thought of as something that is shameful, but to be thought of as a skill that can allow us time to collect ourselves and make a better decision, a better move, or better choice that then can allow us to win the fight and ultimately the war.

Now flip side don’t use this tactic to be a coward, sometimes we have to stay and finish the fight, sometimes we have to be strong. So use wisdom with this principle.

 

Reference:

Bible Gateway . N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Oct. 2014. <https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+30%3A6&version=ASV>.

Greene, R. (2006). The 33 Strategies of War. New York, NY: Penguin Group.

Phenomenal Documentary on Food: Hungry for Change

Here I am, doing some more writing on food, health and weight loss. Why? Probably because I have struggled with weight my whole life, and am finally getting a grasp on it, and loosing it and keeping it off. I’m doing it the healthy way, the right way. But, it has taken some time and a lot of brain reprogramming, relearning food, and learning how to eat the correct foods. It has also made me rethink my relationship to food. Cause, I would eat for the wrong reasons.

You can loose weight, and here is the thing, we can do it, you can do it, the weight can be lost, you can look better and above that, feel better. I mean, for real, you can feel fantastic. I know I do, I feel so good it is crazy, I feel so good, I’m actually getting used to it, cause I would feel like I have done something wrong to feel that good. Ha! But no, I think we should feel that good all the time.

So, here is what I want to pass on to you right now.

I just finished watching the video Hungry for Change, and it was great. It touched on some many things in relation to food and weight loss, things I think we know, but don’t really know. So, it is good to hear people elaborate on them. For example, there was a really powerful quote that one of the people said in it, and it was “Visualization is the language that can talk to your subconscious.” Powerful, I know. It is basically meditating. We should visualize what we want to look like in order to reprogram our subconscious. It also went through food and what it does and how it affects the body. It was a great overview of health and how food is so essential in our lives and how it can affect us so much. I highly recommend you all watch it.

Also read on the Ancient Secret to Weight Loss Here.

http://thoughtshaveconsequences.com/learn-the-ancient-secrets-to-weight-loss/

The 48 Laws of Power; Law 18: DO NOT BUILD FORTRESSES TO PROTECT YOURSELF–ISOLATION IS DANGEROUS

I have been going through the book, The 48 Laws Of Power, by Robert Greene, because I feel it has a lot to offer that is good. But, I also want to go through it because I also feel there is a lot of bad that this book offers. Though, interestingly I have heard the author blur the line on what is good and bad in interviews, there is a clear line that God has laid. The author does do a good job of showing the tactics of power people use, too. I think that is his main point of the book.

So, just to let you know, there is some bad, ugly, evil tactics in the book that can be used but shouldn’t be. But, the book is worth reading for 2 reasons, one, it is a great and fascinating read, that will give you some good skills to use in life when tempered with the truth of the Bible. Two, it lets a person know there are evil people out there who will do anything to have power, and the book exposes some of the things people do to have power. With that being said, understand this: Thoughts are dangerous, and they precede ideas, and those ideas can have consequences, good or bad. With anything, weigh the concepts on the scale of the Bible. Let’s begin.

The law that is about to be reviewed is a really good one. For one, it is practical, and also can be linked Biblically very well. Two, if the law is not followed in the practical sense, it is dangerous for people who isolate themselves. In this post we are going to examine the law and then weigh it and tie it with the Bible.

It is Law 18 DO NOT BUILD FORTRESSES TO PROTECT YOURSELF–ISOLATION IS DANGEROUS. It is one of the shorter laws, but very important. And I think it is one that is very applicable in the life of a Christian. Judgment:

The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere–everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers that it protects you from–it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people, find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

“But isolation exposes you to more dangers that it protects you from[.]” Let’s talk about what isolation is not, I don’t think it is referring to spending a week alone in the woods, if that is what you like doing. But spending, months and months in the woods alone. Well, I think that turns dangerous for a person. Furthermore, I think if a person spends considerable time with themselves and only a couple other people or one, that is dangerous isolation. Your mind will take you places, that are usually unreasonable to other people. And it makes sense, we fight a spiritual war as well, and as people, moreover Christians, we need others, other to buffet us, help us, talk to and encourage us. If we don’t have that, we are left to all kinds of craziness.

Moving on, I came across an interesting article I found on the New Yorkers website, and it gives some of the effects isolation has on people:

He missed people terribly, especially his fiancée and his family. He was despondent and depressed. Then, with time, he began to feel something more. He felt himself disintegrating. It was as if his brain were grinding down. A month into his confinement, he recalled in his memoir, “The mind is a blank. Jesus, I always thought I was smart. Where are all the things I learned, the books I read, the poems I memorized? There’s nothing there, just a formless, gray-black misery. My mind’s gone dead. God, help me.”

He was stiff from lying in bed day and night, yet tired all the time. He dozed off and on constantly, sleeping twelve hours a day. He craved activity of almost any kind. He would watch the daylight wax and wane on the ceiling, or roaches creep slowly up the wall. He had a Bible and tried to read, but he often found that he lacked the concentration to do so. He observed himself becoming neurotically possessive about his little space, at times putting his life in jeopardy by flying into a rage if a guard happened to step on his bed. He brooded incessantly, thinking back on all the mistakes he’d made in life, his regrets, his offenses against God and family.

His captors moved him every few months. For unpredictable stretches of time, he was granted the salvation of a companion—sometimes he shared a cell with as many as four other hostages—and he noticed that his thinking recovered rapidly when this occurred. He could read and concentrate longer, avoid hallucinations, and better control his emotions. “I would rather have had the worst companion than no companion at all,” he noted.

In September, 1986, after several months of sharing a cell with another hostage, Anderson was, for no apparent reason, returned to solitary confinement, this time in a six-by-six-foot cell, with no windows, and light from only a flickering fluorescent lamp in an outside corridor. The guards refused to say how long he would be there. After a few weeks, he felt his mind slipping away again.

“I find myself trembling sometimes for no reason,” he wrote. “I’m afraid I’m beginning to lose my mind, to lose control completely.”

One day, three years into his ordeal, he snapped. He walked over to a wall and began beating his forehead against it, dozens of times. His head was smashed and bleeding before the guards were able to stop him.

Some hostages fared worse. Anderson told the story of Frank Reed, a fifty-four-year-old American private-school director who was taken hostage and held in solitary confinement for four months before being put in with Anderson. By then, Reed had become severely withdrawn. He lay motionless for hours facing a wall, semi-catatonic. He could not follow the guards’ simplest instructions. This invited abuse from them, in much the same way that once isolated rhesus monkeys seemed to invite abuse from the colony. Released after three and a half years, Reed ultimately required admission to a psychiatric hospital.

“It’s an awful thing, solitary,” John McCain wrote of his five and a half years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam—more than two years of it spent in isolation in a fifteen-by-fifteen-foot cell, unable to communicate with other P.O.W.s except by tap code, secreted notes, or by speaking into an enamel cup pressed against the wall. “It crushes your spirit and weakens your resistance more effectively than any other form of mistreatment.” And this comes from a man who was beaten regularly; denied adequate medical treatment for two broken arms, a broken leg, and chronic dysentery; and tortured to the point of having an arm broken again. A U.S. military study of almost a hundred and fifty naval aviators returned from imprisonment in Vietnam, many of whom were treated even worse than McCain, reported that they found social isolation to be as torturous and agonizing as any physical abuse they suffered.

And what happened to them was physical. EEG studies going back to the nineteen-sixties have shown diffuse slowing of brain waves in prisoners after a week or more of solitary confinement. In 1992, fifty-seven prisoners of war, released after an average of six months in detention camps in the former Yugoslavia, were examined using EEG-like tests. The recordings revealed brain abnormalities months afterward; the most severe were found in prisoners who had endured either head trauma sufficient to render them unconscious or, yes, solitary confinement. Without sustained social interaction, the human brain may become as impaired as one that has incurred a traumatic injury.

On December 4, 1991, Terry Anderson was released from captivity. He had been the last and the longest-held American hostage in Lebanon. I spoke to Keron Fletcher, a former British military psychiatrist who had been on the receiving team for Anderson and many other hostages, and followed them for years afterward. Initially, Fletcher said, everyone experiences the pure elation of being able to see and talk to people again, especially family and friends. They can’t get enough of other people, and talk almost non-stop for hours. They are optimistic and hopeful. But, afterward, normal sleeping and eating patterns prove difficult to reëstablish. Some have lost their sense of time. For weeks, they have trouble managing the sensations and emotional complexities of their freedom (Gawande, 2009).

So, this is a extreme case of isolation, but nonetheless, isolation is dangerous. We do much better with people. It is how God designed us.

IN wrapping this up, I remember seeing a show on solitary confinement for prisoners. Here is the thing, I’m not sure who was sicker, the people leaving the prisoner in solitary confinement for days and days on end, or the prisoner in solitary confinement.

Now it should be easy for any Christian to see how that can apply to their life. But for those who don’t know about the Bible, Jesus, and God. Let me help.

It makes you an easy target for the devil. Left alone to our own selves, we can come up with all kinds of thoughts and or ideas that are not sane. Learn the lesson: Don’t isolate yourself.

 

 

Check out other laws we review from the book here:

http://thoughtshaveconsequences.com/category/book-review/the-48-laws-of-power-book-review/

Reference:

Gawande, Atul. The New Yorker . N.p., Mar. 2009. Web. 19 Apr. 2014. <http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/03/30/090330fa_fact_gawande#ixzz2IPiVyMTW>.

Learn The Ancient Secret To Weight Loss: I lost 30 plus doing it!

Disclaimer below.

So, I have learned the ancient secret to weight loss, a secret lost long ago with the advent of the TV Dinner, online dating, instant coffee, and fast food. This secret has dramatically improved my looks, and how clothes fit. It has also improved my health, and energy level, and even has increased my testosterone levels, though I guess I have not verified it, just assuming it, and I’m under a pretty good assumption it has if you know what I mean! Also, with this secret, in less then five months I was able to drop 30 plus pounds, and look a lot better. So, let’s begin with what it is and talk about the benefits.

What is the Ancient Secret?

This secret is probably synonymous with common sense, but alludes most of our Big Mac, Burger King, and Wendy’s society. It escapes our grasp because of the speed at which we live our lives. Cause who wants to work when you can hang with Burger King? I mean, he is way cooler then Gym? Here it is, the Ancient Secret:

 

HARD WORK, and it can be summed up like this:

Put down the fork and eat less.

Eat healthier foods.

Exercise. Period.

Ancient, I know, who has time for this? I mean really, the going to the gym, and pumping iron with all the super douches there, looking in the mirror? And who has time to eat healthy, when really, the convenience of the great Mexican restaurant Taco Bell is open late and is fast, cheap and easy? Then for real, why put the fork down when you can buy Hyrdoxycut? But let me tell you why you should make time for all these things and put them all into effect right now in your life.

One, eat healthier, because you will feel better by what you eat. I can’t tell you how related my moods and the foods I eat are. Try me, instead of eating the horrible diet you consume everyday, buy some healthy foods and try it for 5 days. I’m very certain you will feel better, and have a better look on life, and will have more energy and not feel depressed. Thought: I also think the devil uses food to bring us down. Why think about it, what kind of food do you want to eat when you have had a hell-of-a-day? Crappy foods, also know as comfort foods. I love to grab ice-cream when the day has gone all wrong, and its like, I Like It, but have move feeling then that, so I Gotta Have It. Then, I love to eat a bag of Sour Patch Kids when my deals have fallen apart. To stop at Taco Bell and get a couple of burritos when I’m depressed. I do it cause it gives me that momentary pleasure. But, what I have also learned is that is depresses me that much more. I’m not say never eat these things, but think about it. Does Cold Stone warm your heart when you are depressed? Does Wendy help lift your spirit when you are down? I encourage not going to them for comfort. Does the Sour Patch Kids really sweeten your awful day? No. But this is something I’m learning this as well.

I also found, when I eat the right foods, I have more energy. It’s easier to wake up in the morning, too. I don’t feel nearly as lethargic. That alone, is worth it, think about it, you can possibly get 7 more hours a weak back by eating healthier cause you don’t take so long to get going.

Now, I could go into the science of why this actually all works, but there is a lot of good resources  out there and I will post some below. Or just google it.

Moving on, step two, eat less or consume less calories. I think eating the right foods and eating less go hand in hand. Cause think about, the right foods fill you up quicker, and you are going to consume less calories. (Because, for example, eating 4 ounces of spinach vs. 4 ounces ice cream, one is less caloric.) But you will find yourself eating more, can you really over eat on negative calorie celery? So what kind of foods do you eat? I think it is easier to ask what do you stay away from? I would say stay away from fast food, lots of meat, dairy, and sweets. Stay away from white flour, white sugar, salt, and anything fried. I think from there you will be doing a lot better. Other things to stay away from: Sodium, processed food, and anything devoid of any nutritional value. Now, at first this will be hard (it’s the American Diet), cause it is basically restricting and restructuring your diet, but if I can get the hang of it, you can!

“So, what should I eat?” you may ask. Well, fresh fruits and vegetables, eggs, meat in moderation, and fish. As well as, super foods, and whole grains. It is easy, and you will also find yourself craving these foods, after awhile. One thing I got to help me is a Ninja Blender to make green smoothies. I do it pretty much once a day, or more and love it. They are not that expensive and I find them to be very reliable. There are other blenders to check out, like the Vitamix but this one has been my favorite. When I make the smoothies, I put anything from Kale and Spinach, lemon, and super foods in it. Then one of the stitches to my green smoothie is Wheat Grass I have been doing Coconut Oil lately, and have also put all kinds of berries and avocado in it. I put anything I have on hand pretty much.

Now, step three, work out. Go to the gym, sign up, and start working out. Do it.  You will feel better, have more energy, and loose weight. Also, I have found when I work out, I feel more motivated to conquer the world. I also believe working out produces more testosterone in your body, which then in turn makes you less anxious and prone to worry, if I remember he science behind it, which I think it do. I have also seen a huge increase in my sex drive, which kind of sucks cause I live this Christian life thing, and sex drive is already a problem. Haha. But, really, I feel like I can go with less sleep with and have more energy in my day which allows me to get more done in my day. Then get this for you married men having certain problems with certain appendages of the body, I remember seeing something on a movie or program about how cholesterol, the stuff that I think clogs the veins, can be reduced with better health. I also remember, that if the veins are clogged it can affect errections, cause again, common sense, blood flows to all the body, and if the appendages that need blood are clogged, it may cause some unwanted troubles in the marriage bed. But, again you can find the science on that.

With putting these three thing into effect in my life, I have dropped over 30 pounds, and wake up with so much more energy, so much!!!! and even sleep less. Sometimes I have so much energy at work I can’t sit still. I now crave going to the gym or running because my body loves it. I even turn on music sometimes right when I get up, cause I am PUMPED!!! It is a good thing to have.

Now you will spend a little money on these things, but I think it will be well worth it, cause of the energy you get and need of less sleep you require will be well worth it. So, get this, I actually get more done in a day because of what I have shared, which equal more productivity.

So, was what I shared a secret? No, haha, it is common sense. But now in life it seems common sense is the secrets lost long ago that made life better.

Watch Tony On Health And Going Green:

Wheatgrass:

A  Great Blender To Help You On Your Health Journey!

Another One!

 

Remember: In Moderation!

Great Program That Helped Me:

 

Disclaimer: While this weight loss secret has worked for me, it is your responsibility to take into account I’m not a medical professional, and any new diet plans should be checked with your physician, to see if they work for you. Or if you opt not to check with a physician, all the information your enact in your life is solely on your head, and I’m not responsible for the outcomes of what you do.  ;)

Life is like a mystery, do you have the clues to figure it out?

One night as I was laying in bed passing from one consciousness to another, I had a thought: Life is like a mystery and different perspectives are like clues. It was a profound thought, and I made note of it before I fell asleep, cause, in the morning I could not remember it. But let me relay this thought in story form.

Let’s say you are in a series of relationships that have failed, or not produced the results you wanted. And now you are faced with two choices, one you can continue to do what you do and think you will have different results, which is insanity. Or… Or, you can get other perspectives from God, people, books and other outside sources. And why would you do that? Cause you are stuck in a mystery called failed relationships, and the clues that you have, have not found the men who killed Mr. Mustard, another name for your failed relationships.

So what do you do? Get other perspectives or clues to the mystery.

See, getting other perspectives could hold the clue or clues you need to figure this mystery, and put the men, Ego, Pride, and Mr. Douche away who killed Mr. Mustard. See your ego, pride and doucheness is probably what is holding you back in so many different areas of your life, they kill Mr. Mustard frequently.

Here is how to get clues: Humble yourself and start learning that there are smarter people out there who can give you different perspectives that can solve this mystery called life. Because life encompasses all of you. So, in that breath, it would behoove you to put your listening ears on, shutting your mouth, reading, and learning, cause you are not always right.

This stuff is applicable for your work, your driving, how you play golf, music and whatever else you continually suck at. So you name it. Understand: There are smarter people out there then you, who can give you a clue, a different perspective that can help you in that area of your life.

Here is another thing to do, listen to people when they talk to you, they are a great source for clues. I have a friend who for whatever reason loves to tell me what I do wrong, does it feel good to hear it? No. but is it a different perspective of myself I can’t see? Yes. Is she sometimes right in what she says? Absolutely. So what do I do, I listen, and apply wisdom. So, when someone tells you something about yourself that is wrong or sees something you don’t see, thank them, they may have just improved your life. Also, my brother told me a couple of things that really pissed me off once, but after really examining them, myself and then being in communication with God, my brother was right. He has made my life better. I could of brushed him off though and thought, what a douche he was, but that would of been pride and ego, killing Mr. Mustard. So, when people correct you, be gracious to them, hear what they say and don’t make them pay for correcting you. Maybe what they say is over the top, or absolutely wrong, weigh it, and think it over. But listen, and try not to make them pay for saying it. There is a good chance there is some truth in what was said. Please: Don’t take this as you just lay down and let people verbally beat you up. Use discernment.

Another great place to get other perspectives is from books, Youtube, sermons, lectures, and whatever else media that can communicate to you.

Then above all, ask God for clues, and then go to God with the clues you get, and always be in relationship with Him. Know this: He is the best source to tell you about yourself.

In closing, when people give you these clues, take them to God and ask Him to show you how to get better, let God work in your life, and show you the deep things. God is good. He has shown me so much. Humble yourself through reading the Bible, prayer, and fasting.

Be smart enough to know you are just not that smart.

 

Books to help you figure out life so you can win, use discernment when reading and the Bible as your filter, not all information is good (I have read most of these books, too or in the process of reading):

Faced with a failure? How not to respond like a loser.

So, just recently I was faced with a failure, and to say the least I’m a little frustrated. See, I’m in a sales job, and I just lost a client and a large potential paycheck and worked very hard in the hopes of it. And consequentially, all kinds of thoughts are going through my head. I want to basically pass the buck off on my client and blame them for the failure. But is that how a winner thinks? Does a winner bitch, moan, wine and complain cause things did not happen his way? Does he blame those around him? No. I think a winner will feel down, and probably have moments of doing all those things. I did. But I think a winner will say, to quote one of my favorite people, Brian Tracy, “I am responsible.” And accept the failure, and take it upon himself.

See, the easy thing is to say it is not your fault, but when you say “I am responsible.” It causes you to look deep inside and reflect. To ponder what went wrong. So, when you fail, first of all, don’t think of it as necessarily a “failure,” but undesirable results. You only really feel when you give up. Then two, I know it is cliche, but it is a learning experience. When you win, how often do you really go deep in your being and look at the win? So, really dig deep and ask yourself why it went wrong. For example, I had a relationship fall to pieces, and I was well, pissed. But it forced me to look deep into myself, and really discover my faults and flaws. Because of it, I did so much growing and learning, and bettering myself that I want to thank that person for what happened, haha, ironic.

So with these thoughts above, as I was pumping iron in the less then happy state I was in. I made a choice that instead of blame my clients, I’m going to blame my self, and learn from the experience.

I started asking myself some questions to get the gears going:

What are some of the things that were out of my control? My age, my experience (at the moment), my car/socio economic status (though these will improve with time).

Then more important what are some of the things I could change and are in my control? How much I knew the area, I could of been more knowledgeable, I can work harder. I can use this to get better.

Then moving on from there, I will most likely journal some questions and talk to God about the whole situation. Here is what my question time may look like.

Questions I ask myself will go like this:

-What happened? I lost a client.

-Why? Cause of my experience.

-Is that it? No

-What else? I think there is something in my heart that is holding me back.

-What? I think I feel outclassed, out of my socio economic status, and looked down on.

-Should you feel like that? Yes and no.

-Are those feeling real or perception? Both

-Can you change that? Yes

-How? Do heart work. Be more confident, and get a new car.

So, you get the point, that is one of the things I do. It helps me to really check my self, and get down and dirty on myself. It also has allowed me to change a lot of things in my life cause I can get to the root of the problem, and I’m finding the root is usually in my heart and not external.

The last thing, and the most important thing failure does, is it reminds me God is my ultimate source, and forces me to humble myself before Him. And realize, either He has this bitch (that is my term) under control, or I’m screwed. I have to have total dependence on Him, go to Him for guidance.

 

 

 

Displacement Theory and Christianity

I have been pondering this thought now for sometime, and am ready to put my thoughts down. The thought that I’ve been sitting on is the idea of Displacement Theory. I heard Dave Ramsey talk about it, and use the analogy I’m about to give you, but I can’t remember what he exactly related it to. Something with money. But in this post I’m going to relate it to Faith, and your relationship with Jesus.

First off, I just became acutely aware of this theory recently. I did a bit of a fast and was really reading a lot of Bible and connecting with God, and then it hit me, how close I felt to God and how much the things of the world did not intrigue me. Why is it like that? Well let me give you the analogy and show you why.

Let’s say you drink green smoothies as I do, you put in your kale, wheatgrass powder, and chai and flax seed mix with Goji berries. Then you throw in your pomegranate juice and fresh squeezed lemon. And whatever else suites your pallet, after that, zip it up and drink. Hopefully it doesn’t taste so bad you have to plug your noise, which I have done before. Now, three options are before you, one, you put the glass in the sink and leave it there dirty. Two, you fill the glass with a little water, but it is still in essence dirty. Or three, put the glass in the sink, run the water in it till it displaces the green smoothie and is now clean and pure.

That is how I think of Displacement Theory option three, you are displacing part A with part B until it completely removes part A, and you are left with part B.

So, how does that work with Faith and Christianity? Let me show you. If I want to live a more pure life, it is so much harder to discipline myself to just not go after the lusts of the world. But, I find it easier and what works more efficiently, to just fill my self with the Word of God, and connect, and be filled with the Holy Spirit, until it displaces those unGodly desires. I think so many of us miss that. I think so many preachers fail to preach that along with the teachers who fail to teach that.

So in this fast I was doing, I really realized the displacement. I became aware of how great God is, and how awesome He really is, and how the things of the world were not awesome, not at all. But what I was doing is displacing my unholy desires for desires that fit in with God’s desires.

Wrapping this up, that is my encouragement to you, instead of trying to live this super disciplined life, just let Christ live through you, and displace all the shiftiness with God’s goodness.

Life Lesson: Don’t Preface

I will try to make this short, so you can read it, ponder it, and put it into action right now. So the thought that I have been working and thinking on for a while is one that has helped me in my day to day life. I also think people who have power and confidence do this as well. Here is the thought: when you talk to people, or give a speech, don’t preface what you say to people. I’m not saying not to ever. But as a general rule, and specifically with weird prefaces. So, I will now show you what I’m talking about.

Beginning: Not prefacing statements. For me this is where I’m at, I’m really trying not or am just not prefacing my statements anymore. See, before I would make my point on something, I would preface it with something stupid, like this, “Now, this might be crazy to you, but…” Or, “I know this may sound weird, but why don’t we…” Anything like that, I could possibly say. Why did I do that? Well that is another conversation that has to do with other things I have learned to overcome. But either way, whatever the reason it was done, it sucked.

Moving on, this is what happened to change this for me: A gentleman I had a work meeting with, said to me something like this, “Don’t preface what you say before you say it.” Then I think he said something like, “It causes you to loose credibility and makes you look silly, when you preface things with, ‘this may sound weird.'” Wow, a light bulb went off for me, and I’ve been working to change it.

Secondly, here why you don’t want to preface your stuff with weird prefaces or in general. When you preface the things you say, it does cause you to loose credibility and does make you sound silly if you were prefacing with things like I was. I also think it puts defenses up in peoples minds when you do particularly  odd prefaces. Like if you say, “I know you are gonna disagree with this, but…” I think a person is setting people up to be defensive. It is like if you want to knock someone out, you don’t tell them, “I’m gonna punch you in the face…” Right? Just hit them with it. They are instantly gonna be on the defensive if you forewarn them.

In wrapping this up, this is just a little life lesson I learned, because someone was  able and willing to point it out me. Maybe you do this as well, its never too late to sharpen your self and do better. Understand: if you are educated and have learned more then others, your ideas will probably sound strange to the normal person who is not looking to improve themselves, because chances are it is outside their comfort zone, and or they have not connected the dots that you have, and had the opportunity to learn what you have. But you don’t need to preface your information still.

Some thoughts on life…

While I was contemplating contacting a ex-girl friend, I thought of what would I say to try to capture her heart, well I never contacted her with the thoughts, but this is kind of what I came up with, and then have did some adding to it:

Life…

Living,

learning,

loving,

loosing,

getting back up, wiping the dust off

falling again, getting back up and wiping the dust off.

It is about failures and success.

It is about growth and triumph.

It has been said dance like no one is watching, I say, dance like you don’t give a sh*t. Dance, cause everyone else sucks too, on the dance floor.

Don’t measure your life by the wealth you create, but by the lives you impact for the better with that wealth that was created, and glorify God in what you do, He was the one who gave you the ability. Don’t forget, you too are just a man, and your life is a breath, if that.

Strive to be better, smarter, faster, bigger, stronger, and more fit. Strive because you only get one shot at this life. When it is done, it is over.

Measure your life by the lives you impact, the people you love, measure life in the friends, and the family you have.

Build people up,

help those who fall,

go all in,

start before your are ready.

Change how you think of failure, not as failing but as a learning opportunity. You don’t fail, you get undesired results.

Cry if your heart is not hard, cause you are in a better place then one who has had this world harden his heart.

Remember: we are all in the sea of life with our boats, tossed by the waters, beaten by the waves. Struggling at the oars, and weathering the storms. One day your ship will fail, you with your boat will go down, and your body will wash up on the shores of eternity. Hopefully it is to an Everlasting Joy, and not an eternal damnation.

Above all, love God, then love people, life has one shot, and one chance, and you are a sum total of decisions, so make them wisely.